Adam: His Wedding, Work, & Woe (Part 2 of 3)

Adam’s Work

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and kepictureep it” (Gen. 2:15). Adam’s work is two-fold as far as his role as a husband is concerned.

First, God has placed Adam in the garden in order for Adam to provide for his wife.

The word “work” in this verse is better to be translated as “cultivate.” Adam is to tend the garden. He needs to work for the provision of his wife and for God’s praise. Work was not a result of sin but a God-ordained instrument through which man can glorify his Creator by providing for his family. Husbands, as long as the Lord enables us, it is our obligation to provide for our family. Are you fulfilling your duty?


Second, God has also put Adam in the garden in order for Adam to protect his wife.

The Hebrew term translated “keep” in verse 15 also means “watch” or “guard.” God has appointed Adam to watch the Garden of Eden which is Adam’s home. Adam is to look after everything that is in this garden. And since Eve is in the garden, it is also his responsibility to look after Eve—to keep her away from the forbidden tree and to protect her from Satan, the great tempter.

Husbands, it is our holy occupation to protect our family from the Devil and to keep our home from temptations. Fathers, we are to guard our children from “the [sinful] desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life” (1 John 2:16). Doing such an important responsibility requires time. It may be likened to gardening. If you want to have a good garden, then you must invest time in your garden. Fertilize, water, and weed it.

Some fathers think that their duty is only to provide for their family’s material and physical needs. That’s only part of our duty as fathers. We are also called to protect our family from spiritual dangers. You may work 80 hours a week, but yet you hardly see your children. You don’t have time to talk to them, read God’s Word with them, pray with them, play with them, and counsel them. Then, when your children don’t act according to God’s Word, you ask, “Why is my son or daughter acting this way? What’s wrong with my child?” Perhaps, we need to ask ourselves: “What’s wrong with me? Am I taking time to also provide spiritually and emotionally for my family?”

Husbands, we must also work on our marriage. A husband who desires to have a healthy relationship with his wife must work hard at his relationship with her. He should not expect to have a good relationship with his wife, if he does not cultivate his love for her. Husbands, do you still date your wife? When was the last time you took her out to spend quality time with each other? Remember, the condition of your marriage can affect your children. Someone has rightly observed, “A father’s first responsibility to his child is to love his wife. The most favored children in the world are those whose parents love each other.”


In the next post we will look at Adam’s woe.

Family Marriage Parenting Wedding

An Interview with Brian Croft about his book The Pastor’s Family: Shepherding Your Family Through the Challenges of Pastoral Ministry. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2013, 171 pp., paperback.

It was a joy to meet you at the 2013 Puritan Reformed Conference. I enjoyed reading your practical and gospel-centered book. I especially appreciated its humble and honest tone.

Here are some of my questions for you about your book:9780310495093_30

1. How would you respond to a pastor who says that his ministry is his priority over his family? You may also want to comment on William Carey’s conviction that ministry work must come first before family responsibility.

I would tell him that he is disobeying the Word of God and the biblical calling of a pastor.  A pastor’s calling in 1 Timothy 3 is to first manage his household before the church.  I would also say that a pastor will give an account for souls (Heb. 13:17) not just in the church, but those in his family.  I would argue the account will be given first to those in his household.  A pastor’s first ministry is to his family, then the church.  Lose your family, you will lose your ministry.  

2. On page 41 you state, “Being a pastor and the wife of a pastor can indeed be a very lonely position.” Can you please elaborate your thoughts on this statement?

Most think the pastor and his wife would be the ones with the most friends in the church.  The opposite is usually the case.  Because of the position of the pastor in a church, it is hard to be transparent and open with certain folks not knowing what might later be used against him.  Many relationships are based upon those wanting to get close to the pastor for personal gain, not simply friendship.  This makes it hard for the pastor and his wife to find meaningful friendships and most pastors do not make the effort to find them outside their church.

3. What do you think is a pastor’s main problem as far as balancing his family and ministry responsibility is concerned?

The pastor’s main problem is not what he thinks it is.  It is not the demands and pressures put upon him.  The pastor’s main problem that causes an imbalance is his own sinful heart.  It is his heart that makes him desire things that would cause the ministry to become an idol to him, thus neglecting his family.  The pastor has to apply the power of the gospel to his heart struggles in the ministry to prevent family neglect.

4. What is the biblical solution to the problem mentioned in question # 3?

The power of the gospel not only saves us from our sins, but it also empowers us to overcome the sins of our hearts that affect our daily lives.  The pastor must identify the sinful struggles in his heart that pull him away from his family, and repent.  Then, he must turn to the Scriptures as the guide to how a pastor must conduct his life.  Scripture gives us the blueprint to the calling of a pastor (1 Timothy 3:4-5), what the pastor should be doing with his time (Heb. 13:17; 1 Peter 5:1-4), and how essential it is for a pastor to care for his wife (Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7) and shepherd his children (Eph. 6:1-4) in the midst of his life and ministry.  As the pastor ministers God’s Word, he must himself walk in it to counter the sinful temptations that lead to neglect of the family.

5. This question is for your wife Cara: In what way can a pastor’s wife best help her husband in the ministry?  

Each ministry is different, therefore what each husband needs will be different.  I can not give you a specific answer except this, ask them.  If you really want to know what your husband needs for you to do, ask him, and then be willing to hear whatever his answer may be.  I know it sounds simple, but we as women tend to think we know what our husbands need and how they need us to serve.  The truth is there may be a way that they are desiring for us to serve and we have never taken the time to ask them.

The second answer I would give is to pray for husbands.  Our husbands need our prayers.  And we need to not only pray for them but we need to tell them we are praying for them and ask in what specific ways we can pray for them better.  This does two things.  First it encourages our husbands by letting them know that we are thinking and interceding on their behalf.  Second, it allows us to see into our husbands’ hearts a bit deeper and to know more of the burdens they are carrying.  We need to be lifting them before God daily and seeking ways to encourage them as they labor both for the church and for our families.  Notice I said “we”.  That is because this is a lesson I am still learning.

6. What projects are you currently working on?

I have several books I am working on.  There is a companion with the Pastor’s Family that will be about, “The Pastor’s Ministry” which will be focused on the top 10 biblical priorities of every pastor’s ministry.  Then I am writing, co-writing, and editing 6 more books for our Practical Shepherding series, all to be published in the next two years.  Practical books on administration, caring for widows, planning and leading worship, praying for the flock, and how to comfort the grieving are some of the topics of these books.  We are very excited about all the Lord is doing with Practical Shepherding and the books that will be the foundation for our ministry for year to come, Lord willing.

Note: You can buy the book here.

Family Interview Ministry Pastor

Five Lessons from Our Daughter Anna


Our child Anna has already taught me and my wife many lessons. A few of them are:

  1. To marvel more at God’s creative power. Watching Anna grow in the womb, and even now as she develops by leaps and bounds each month, makes us stand in awe of the miracle of life.
  2. To be more dependent on God. Realizing the great responsibility that God has entrusted to us as well as recognizing our weakness has made us more prayerful.
  3. To love each other more.  My wife and I fall more in love with each other as we care for Anna together.
  4. To be less selfish. We’ll never forget holding Anna in our arms the very first time. An overwhelming love swept over us, and this little girl’s needs became the priority over our own, her comfort more important than ours.
  5. To see beauty in and to appreciate the “little” things in life. Anna finds such joy in a simple game of peek-a-boo, or in taking a walk to look at Daddy’s garden. Anna teaches us not to lose amazement of things that we see daily such as trees, birds, clouds, and other things that point us to our wonderful God.

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